Why We Can't Stop Loving Those Who Hurt Us?

We sometimes keep loving people who make us feel sad because it’s like having a favorite toy that also likes to pinch you.

Imagine your best friend is also the person who takes your snacks at lunchtime, that kind of friend. Even though they take your snack, you still want to play with them because they’re fun and exciting. It’s confusing, but you know deep down they care about you too. That’s what happens when someone hurts us but we still love them: it feels a little painful, but also exciting or warm inside.

Why does this happen?

Sometimes people who hurt us do so because they really want to be close to us, just like how your friend takes your snack because they’re trying to be funny and hang out with you. It’s like when you spill juice on the floor, it’s a mess, but it also makes you laugh.

Also, being loved by someone who chooses to stay with you even when things are hard feels really special, kind of like getting a hug after falling down.

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Examples

  1. A child who is constantly scolded by their parent still wants to please them.
  2. Someone who is cheated on keeps coming back to the same relationship.
  3. A friend who always takes advantage of you still hangs out with you.

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