Why some narcissists feel the need to control everything?

Some narcissists feel the need to control everything because they want everything to go exactly as they imagine it should.

Imagine you're playing with your favorite toy, a train set that goes vrrrrrmmmm around the tracks. You love how it looks, how it sounds, and how it moves. Now imagine someone keeps changing the tracks without asking you. The train crashes into a wall or goes in a circle forever. That would feel unfair, right?

That’s like being a narcissist, they see life as their favorite toy, and they want everything to follow the perfect plan they have in mind.

Like Being the Boss of a Playground

Think of a narcissist as someone who wants to be the boss of the playground. They pick the games, decide who can join, and even tell others how to play, because if things go wrong, it might mean they’re not as amazing as they think.

If everything is perfect, then they are perfect. And that feels really good! So they try to control everything so nothing can mess up their perfect day.

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Examples

  1. A narcissist might insist on choosing the restaurant for dinner, even if everyone else has already decided.
  2. They may interrupt others during meetings to ensure their ideas are heard first.
  3. They could take over a project at work just because they think it's 'better'.

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