What is alexithymia?

Alexithymia is when someone has trouble naming or understanding their own feelings.

Imagine you're playing with your favorite toy, and suddenly it makes you feel really sad, but you don’t know why. You just feel messed up inside. That’s kind of like what alexithymia feels like: you have emotions, but you can't put words to them or figure out what's going on.

Like a Mystery Box

Think of your feelings as little messages in a mystery box. Normally, when you open the box, you read the message and know exactly how you feel, happy, angry, excited. But with alexithymia, it’s like the messages are all jumbled up, and sometimes they’re even missing words.

You might feel something heavy in your chest or a tightness in your stomach, but you don’t know if that means you're sad, scared, or just confused. It's as if the box is there, but the messages are all mixed up, and sometimes they’re not even there at all.

This can make it tricky to talk about how you feel with friends or family, because you don’t know what words to use!

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Examples

  1. A child can’t tell their parent they’re sad, they just know they feel heavy inside.
  2. An adult gets angry but doesn’t realize it until someone else points it out.
  3. Someone feels something strong, like joy or pain, but can't put a name to the feeling.

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