How Does Brené Brown on Empathy Work?

Brené Brown’s idea about empathy is like being a super kind friend who really listens and feels what other people are going through.

Imagine you're playing with your best friend, and they’re sad because their favorite toy broke. Instead of just saying “Don’t worry,” you sit next to them, say “I get it, that toy was really special to you,” and then you both decide to make a new toy together. That’s empathy, you didn’t just hear what they were feeling; you felt it too, and you did something about it.

Brené says empathy is not the same as sympathy or pity. Sympathy is like saying, “Oh, I’m sorry you’re sad.” Pity is like saying, “That’s so bad, here, have a cookie.” But empathy is like being there with your friend and saying, “I know exactly how you feel, let’s fix this together.”

She also says empathy needs three things: listening, feeling what the other person feels, and responding in a way that helps them heal. It's like having a special superpower for friendship.